我的快樂 會回來的

11/06/2004

Biscuit in general

Today I wake up to a pleasant dream of beautiful adventure with X, previously posted as A. My! That's explicit material so I will not post it on my blog, it's open to anyone who browse.

Mum is going to the Frankton market. I must explain, Frankton market is a Saturday market full of cheap stuff. I say cheap, but nowadays, it's getting more expensive. They sell absolutely everything, books, vegetables, all kinds of clothes, toys, plants, pre-loved stuff, shoes, lawn mowers, kebabs, chips, sausages, bread, candy, etc. There are also buskers, and today I've seen a Kapa Haka group. Good, huh? Very crowded.

We discovered that St.Vincent, the place that sells second hand stuff, moved to the shop on the right hand side of its original shop, if you walk from the National bank on that street. Cool, huh? A new shop, and I think Mrs. T loves the chair and the table. But because I drove, so Mrs. T did not buy them. Must have hesitated because mum didn't encourage her more.

I don't know, after watching Seabiscuit and eating pizza at Mrs. T's house, then going to shop in town, mum still does not want to buy anything. Her theory is that I should buy better quality stuff.

Seabiscuit is such a good movie, but I don't know why fuzzyslowmo does not like it. It's about a group of people who had lost everything, and won the big race. I suppose the movie is trying to portray small town American, who worked hard during depression and recovered from it. The movie showed a horse, Seabiscuit, won the big race against derby horse from the Eastern seaboard, War Admiral. It also suffered from torn ligament, and recovered with the horse's jockey, Johnny Red Pollard. It's an inspiring movie. I love it.

Saw R. and tofushark together. R. is a great man, he helped with Mrs. T's garden, and treated tofushark so nicely. I like R., he is a nice guy. I am totally for healthy relationship between young people. It's "healthy", and good for you. As long as you are happy, you can study so much better and be complete as a couple. Don't you agree?

I did two pages of writing yesterday, hope by the end of November I will collect 50000 words. It's not easy to write a novel, but my life is like a novel. I will write it everyday and see how it goes.

Mum talked to aunty on net, asked about dad's situation. He has flown over to Taiwan to take care of his friend's problem again. His friend's brother-in-law died of a stroke in China when doing business there. Dad's friend lost all his money because his brother-in-law had borrowed an considerable amount of money off him. Well, it's not really our problem, but dad has to go to China to help. I don't know when he will be back, but mum ordered him to be back around 4 to 6 December so we can spend Christmas together. Dad is not supposed to go to China because the place this person used to stay, Kwan-Shi, is not a safe place. It's quite hilly, and who knows how this person died? Maybe he got killed there, and it's not wise to go over to get kill, isn't it?

Actually told diamond_storm about this, and she said is my father going back for good and not coming back, as if he is abandoning us...well I made her feel that my father is that kind of man. How bad! Hahaha, maybe he is. I don't know, how would we know what he will do? He is always involved in other people's problem, and do not think that we are important. That's his attitude, don't know why.

Anyway, I hope everything is going ok over there in Taiwan. Don't be so naive and go to China, dad. I am so worried about you.

And X, when can start to see that I love you deeply and say yes? I am not asking you to spend 23.5 hours a day with me. I am not asking you to give me too much. I am not that hard to take care of. *Pout*

11/05/2004

Blog for yesterday and Yes, Please! blog

I am not a morning person, so in the morning I normally blog, reply e-mail, then start writing my proposal. It's so boring! But after yesterday's pep-talk from my supervisor, I feel that I will endeavour to finish the first draft today.

It's a great feeling because it's actually getting somewhere. I am glad that it will be completed soon.

I am going to fix the ozone generator tubing early next week, when I get the tube from Wellington.

Well, I wrote the whole day, trying to get the format of my thesis proposal correct. It's not easy, I think I will just type it up then change the format according to the guideline in the end.

It takes a while to get around things, but once I start writing, I am a fast typer. I think I will copy some parts of the method, and then paraphrase it if I have time. I don't think direct quote is nice, and some part of the procedures are not relevant to my experiment anyway.

Or, what I should have done, is write what I did already for the ozone dissolving experiments. With ozonating, and decaying. It's not hard to write!

The introduction is probably the hardest part to write because I do not know which papers are most important, but of course my supervisor will tell me what to do.

It's a deserted office, I am sure everyone is doing experiment on the farm somewhere. Good, I have peace and quiet to myself.

Drive up to university and meet diamond_strom and abu. They are both fine. Just their normal selves, cheerful and nice. I think diamond_storm is sick, coughing quite a lot, feeling down in general. When I later tell mum that she does not eat anything, she scoffs. I suppose mum can not understand why some children eat nothing. Hahaha.

Abu says that she wants X to come in, to look over her proposal and check spelling for her. Hmm...no wonder X wouldn't come in. Hehehaha I am nasty. I tell them that I asked X out on Tuesday, and he replied later that evening. Then he did not write to me on Wednesday and Thursday (that's yesterday). Abu asked me do I really know X? Why do I like him? She also said that I have great courage about asking X out. Why? I don't see why that's courageous. Anyway, I didn't even succeed, did I? Hahaha. Diamond_storm is doubtful, she said "Did you ask him out just because you need a guy?" Ohohoh, why do people doubt my intensions? Am I really like that? No. I am not. I don't just go and ask every guy who is available out. I am not a dumb girl, ok? Just scatter-brained. I have thought this out. I even know in advance that he may say no. But I have to ask anyway, because I would rather know from him that he does not want to go out, then keep guessing. That suspense kills me.

And why do I need to justify my love to X to two girls? I don't need that. That's between me and X, if I need to justify then I justify the feelings toward X. And especially about X not coming to meet us anymore...what...it ain't my fault. To be honest, X does not come and hang with us that often, and he does not come to hang out with us now. That's probably just X, because that's how he likes it. Got nothing to do with me asking him out. Anyway, it may still be related to me, but I don't care anymore. Too much_for_a_day.

11/03/2004

Novelthon....start writing

Haha.ha.ha.ha I believe that I can write a novel, but I can't write it like the other people do: they write fictatious charcters. I can't do that, so I think I will just count my blog as my novel. Is it good enough? But I have to collect 50,000 words in 25 days. That's 2000 words per day, and that should be easy enough if I blog every day, and maybe blog a little bit more since I started on the 3rd of the November. That would be enough, wouldn't it? I don't even know how much 2000 words is.

Today has been quite unevenful. I went to university to have lunch, started to write a weird crappy novel in another blog. I had been trying to type up my proposal, but at the end of the day, I have discovered that I am too stressed. Still have about 13 days to write less than 10 pages. I can do that, no problem. I think starting to write is hard, but I am good at breaking down things into small parts, so should be fine.

I can't guranttee this is a good read because it's my life. Some people have interesting life because they do interesting jobs, or are interesting person, but I am not. Not really. I have not practiced cello again. Must practice tomorrow otherwise will not be able to play well on Friday. Oh my god, I can't believe that I have not practice whole week. Only practiced once or twice in the weekend. I am too lazy to practice! Too tired. Just want to eat dinner, and go out walking with mum and dad.

Fuzzyslowmo has had her last exam today. She is my sister. Hello sister, and want to say hi to A, Abu, diamond_storm, and my two dear cuz who get online very often. They are all cool people. I can't believe that all my friends are all so good to me. I don't feel sad anymore.

It's must be because I am growing up. I felt this year I have grown up so much. Suffers from first break-up, even though am already 22 years of age. I have learned so much in this year that I discover my 4 years of university education has given me so little. Masters is important, people. If you ever want to take up masters, I would recommend it because you can learn so much more. Cool, huh?

I have also found another good guy. He is really nice, funny, good at telling jokes and also quite serious when he needs to be. He is tall, dark and handsome. It's not easy for a guy to fit this description but fortunately, he does. He has dark hair, dark complexion. Very delicious!!!! May not be every girl's dream: I mean not all girls like tall dark handsome guys, but am truly devine. Tall...yes this is only comparable. But I am not very tall so nearly all the guys are taller than me. Hahahahaha. Yes, he has beautiful, large eyes that's full of laughter. Not a puppy. High cheekbones. Long lashes. Aww...very envious, why don't I have long lashes like him?

Apart from physical appearance, I believe he is very smart. Although diamond_storm has other ideas. I don't know...she has her star, her love of life so of course other men are just not right for her, eh? Everyone has different preferance, and I repect that.

When is Ramadan ending? I wish diamond_storm is not too hungry. It's already dark so she can have something to eat and drink. Hope everyone is doing ok. I don't think Abu is. She looks so stressed last time I saw her. Chill out, mate.

Anyway, I better go and get on with the evening activity. I have not written anything in my proposal tonight. Better read the papers and prepare for tomorrow. Tomorrow is another battle to fight. I feel like that I am fighting the proposal, almost like a mob in the King of Kings multi-player-dungeon.

Wrote to aunt and mydove. Wish they have time to reply, although I have a feeling that mydove won't have time because she is too busy.

Home sweet home made by banaban

http://frontpage.wave.co.nz/~pwtseng

Blog for things that had happened

Asked X out, but he said he has too much on his plate so can't go out with me. Want to talk to me. What's there to talk about? I am just feeling real sad at the moment. This is the impossible female emotion that I hate to have. I don't need it, but am feeling that anyway.
But it's good that he had replied so at least I know what he wants. Some guys are not good at all; they don't even reply and are arrogant. Anyway, maybe more patience is needed. I keep telling myself if this is real love then I can wait for this guy.
Or is it really not worth it like he said? Well, relathionship is like this, don't ask other people about it because they probably won't be able to give you good advices anyway. The advices that they give you are definitely from their mind and I am sorry to say: they do have their own agenda. So I won't even tell my mum because she has her agenda. I am not going to discuss this with my mum because she may say something that will stop my feeling for this guy, which I don't want to do.

Work is boring, I am trying to write up my research proposal. But one thing did come up that's very exciting: one of the farmer who is the chairman of the mastitis control committee said that he is going to put in ozone therapy for cows outside of his cowshed. So he can use this when the cows have been milked. Interesting! Very excited at the moment about this because own research is useful and will make a lot of people happy. I am also going to sign a contract with the company so can get some money. Can spend some money to buy myself a cello case. Christmas shopping! Tick.

Sister is doing the last exam today, hope it goes well. Called dad about how to read/understand Russian research paper today. He said I can ask uncle because he knows how to read and write Russian so he can make sense of it. However, he is a very busy man and dad does not think it's that important. Alright, I am not important???!!! Ah. Never mind. Uncle has his own job to worry about, right?

Hahahaha, I think I should ask Eve not dad. She is afterall, my dear cousin and knows more about whether uncle is busy or not at work. But in the end, is the paper really that important and will I really use it in the proposal? I guess it depends on what's in the paper.

11/01/2004

輕鬆的周一

第一篇中文網誌,不太習慣新注音,希望大家喜歡。早上還是趕著去上班,好累,老闆居然在跟同事聊週末發生的事!看來大家週一都不太認真喔。
在網上找到量電壓的裝備其實是會在十七分鐘內自己關掉,真快把我氣死了!要怎樣才能改呢?還是不能改?本來的用意是好的可以省電,但我不想要它自動關掉,而且一關掉數據就要好幾分鐘才會恢復正常,更不是我想要的。在這幾天我得想辦法看是要問老爸還是要寫信問廠商才行解決這技術問題。
把該送出去的信送出,覺得很期待,希望結果會好。不知道他會不會答應跟我進一步交朋友呢?
妹大概在家讀書吧!哈哈。我還在這邊混著寫網志,沒好好的寫十五號該交的論文計畫書。不想寫啦!還有很久啊!但同學都在打ㄟ,好認真喔。好可怕喔,為啥大家都這麼的努力呢,害我也好緊張喔。
遇到阿布跟快結婚的提科,她們兩人都很快樂喔。只是也都很為讀書而緊張啊。蠻慘的,為什麼小孩子都要這樣呢,給自己添著麼多的麻煩勒?
看阿奇的網頁,做的很好ㄟ,好厲害喔,好有藝術感。拍的照片還有連續動作的ㄟ。沒事時上網看看別人做的網頁心情也會很好喔。套句流行語:我推!
手打字打的好累!發現可以把鍵盤放低點!真好笑怎麼沒發現。梅來了,她坐在我旁邊。
I told X about wanting to go out in an e-mail. This afternoon he actually came into university. ^_^ But was too shy to say anything even after Mai left. Oh...am such a coward.
Right now just waiting for the good/bad news. Wish he will accept and pray to God. Now I pary to god, haha, don't even believe in God. Why pray to God? Don't even believe in fate, right?
Told cousin that dad's going to go back to Taiwan on Friday. Will have to drive mum and sister around again. Take responsibility on pumpkin growing and snail catching duty. Apart from that, just same old life as before. Perhaps tomorrow will be heart-broken/happy with boyfriend again. I sound more and more like Briget Jones by the minute. Am considering the possibility of becoming an ultimate singleton, but always wishing there's someone who is nice to come along and take care of everything so don't have to worry about life anymore! Or is it? More worrying? I don't know. Relationship is complicated, and sometimes you are happy, sometimes you are just sad! But relationship is healthy, and necessary. That's why most people are getting into relationships, falling in and out of love. I am sure it will work out for me somehow, but wish it will work out this time.

He is the right guy: I keep telling myself that, and am feeling quite foolish and embarrassed because have behaved like a love-struck teenager these days. *pout*
Why am I so silly sometimes?

10/31/2004

Cloudy "Sun"day

Today is again bored. Mum and Fuzzyslowmo do not want to go out to shop, and I spent the entire breakfast trying to convince them, but failed.

I am still thinking about asking X out, and actually seek council from my near-marriage cousin. I hope her relationship turns out alright because the guy sounds nice, and he is waiting for his boss to give him a rise. I will ask him out tomorrow if he is in university, however, he may not be. It's still a waiting game.

Mum and dad went to vote for the Sunshine society here. The chairwoman has been elected and there's only one change in the society: the airplane ticket, destination Taiwan, is going to be auctioned out, but it's not going to be shouting, it's going to be on paper.

I read Quicksilver, a book about Werewolf, but it was skim reading. The weather is quite weird today, low pressure but no rainfall at all. Fuzzyslowmo (my sister) is reading Da Vinci's Code. It's a great book, I would recommend anyone who reads my blog to read this book if they have time.