The volleyball game was not on yesterday because the blood donation people are using the Farmer's Hall during lunchtime. However, there's a game on today and we did really well again. I have managed to serve the ball across the net and only missed the opportunities twice. It was also great to see the boys using their pent up energy on court. I had so much fun chasing after the ball.
Volleyball fell on the middle of four people at one stage, and it was so funny! I am so glad that I joined this team right now and will be sad if I have to leave in the future. Generally speaking, you do not have to hit the ball so hard and it's actually the way you set the ball up that earns you points. This exercise also makes us a better team, gives us something to talk about.
Ai and Erik are working together today, with Alex, who has more experience. She asked me how to spin a 0.6 centifuge tube in the benchtop centrifuge. I showed her an adaptor, and told her to ask Erik to confirm. I was right. He gave us the best smile he's got. His smile was shy and his eyes were so attractive. They are the best part of him, and the Chinese got it right: the eyes are the window of the soul, and he's got a beautiful soul. I am glad that I can see his soul open everyday now.
He also seems to have more patience for some reason. I am also calmer around him. Maybe we are finally on the path of becoming normal friends and workmates so my heart will beat at a normal rate.
I know that I will fall back into the crazy pattern again soon, but I hope that I can hide it better so he will not know.
5/16/2007
5/14/2007
Storm without wind
After working with my Japanese colleague, I suddenly felt that there's no need to rush through my experiment. I have been running up and down the lab whole day trying to carry out experiments, but that's absolutely unnecessary. I am organising my time better now, completing tasks each day and ticking them off.
The new project is still going through a rought patch. I suspect that there's something that I haven't done, but I am sure that I have followed all the protocols. Perhaps, the reason why it failed is because I am not making it with my beloved anymore! That's highly unlikely to matter, but maybe he had done something different to what my boss had been doing.
One possibility is that I am not using enough material in my experiment. I will have to wait for new materials to come next week. If only my boss is still in the country. He's in Italy at the moment for the conference.
The choking atmosphere of uncertainty is getting me down, but everybody seems to be unaffected. I guess the only person who showed me true feeling is Fish Boy. He wants to do Masters with our group, and is seeking supervisor. I wish he will stay! I can't bear to see him go, but he may have to leave soon. It's entirely out of my hands now. This news is not entirely shocking to us, but I think he intends to pursue two more years of study in this city anyway. I am not saying that I will take advantage of the situation, although my heart keep wanting to. Sometimes, I hate myself for always doing the right thing. I don't know how many opportunities I have let go in the past because I have to do the right thing. In these situations, the right thing may be entirely wrong for my heart.
I can only pray that he will blossom and grow up. Does he know this? I think he knows what he has to do for the future. The good thing is that he is carrying out his plan in the right order: study, graduate, do masters, work or travel overseas. He has his priorities straight and he is responsible. I should let my emotion go and be calm. IF HE is MINE, then He will be mine.
There was no wind this weekend in Whangarei. I hope he didn't sleep with her. I hope she will just be like what Avril Lavigne sang in her song: she will just disappear, I don't want to hear her name anymore. I know this is just wishful thinking, but this is the only way I can keep smiling.
The new project is still going through a rought patch. I suspect that there's something that I haven't done, but I am sure that I have followed all the protocols. Perhaps, the reason why it failed is because I am not making it with my beloved anymore! That's highly unlikely to matter, but maybe he had done something different to what my boss had been doing.
One possibility is that I am not using enough material in my experiment. I will have to wait for new materials to come next week. If only my boss is still in the country. He's in Italy at the moment for the conference.
The choking atmosphere of uncertainty is getting me down, but everybody seems to be unaffected. I guess the only person who showed me true feeling is Fish Boy. He wants to do Masters with our group, and is seeking supervisor. I wish he will stay! I can't bear to see him go, but he may have to leave soon. It's entirely out of my hands now. This news is not entirely shocking to us, but I think he intends to pursue two more years of study in this city anyway. I am not saying that I will take advantage of the situation, although my heart keep wanting to. Sometimes, I hate myself for always doing the right thing. I don't know how many opportunities I have let go in the past because I have to do the right thing. In these situations, the right thing may be entirely wrong for my heart.
I can only pray that he will blossom and grow up. Does he know this? I think he knows what he has to do for the future. The good thing is that he is carrying out his plan in the right order: study, graduate, do masters, work or travel overseas. He has his priorities straight and he is responsible. I should let my emotion go and be calm. IF HE is MINE, then He will be mine.
There was no wind this weekend in Whangarei. I hope he didn't sleep with her. I hope she will just be like what Avril Lavigne sang in her song: she will just disappear, I don't want to hear her name anymore. I know this is just wishful thinking, but this is the only way I can keep smiling.
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