Turmoil

Today is one of those days that you wish that you will not have to go through. I still remember that day when the inevitable has to come, and came with a vengence. That day was supposed to be a happy day when I celebrated my birth with my family, but it was also a day when I have lost someone forever. There is no going back.
You may not know what I am talking about, but believe me, you don't want to know. I will bear this burden myself, but I have to tell you that right now, at least I can sleep soundly in the evening and not worrying when or what will happen. I don't have to stand in front of strangers explaining to them what had happened. I don't have to persuade who I love to do what they don't want to do. I don't have to stop driving in the middle of the road just in case I hit something. I don't have to look over my shoulder that someone may be there, standing helplessly and waiting for me to help them.
I hate this burden, of not being able to do anything, because I can't bear not to do anything. However, is doing things going to help? I truly hope that it will, but all good things take time.
I pray to God in Lady's Goodfellow Chapel. Did God hear my prayers? Is God guarding her? I hope he is. I hope he can give us some break.
Right now the most important thing is to get some rest and see how it goes today, tomorrow, and the day after. One day at a time. I am sure things will get better.