The girls on the radio in the song were having more fun than me, which made me grimace in the car on the way to work. "Scream" is a very suggestive songs that have girls huffing and puffing in an erotic way. I was stuck in traffic, crawling slowly to work and these girls are having lots of fun. It's not fair.
I was there in the meeting, but felt like that no one was talking to me. I don't know why I am there anymore. The future is not about me, it's about them. I guess in a way it's good. I am forced to do something different, get out of my comfort zone and try something new. I've been thinking that maybe I will start my nomadic life, working odd jobs across several countries and see the world a bit. Maybe I will just stay home and do nothing? Go back to fly kites at home? What about Richard? I am having difficulty thinking about the future because it is very bleak. The only thing that's good is the relationship with him. It's bright and warm and makes me feel fuzzy. I am so afraid that I might lose it.
I am sick at the moment, but not sick enough to go home. Experiment is going slowly, hopefully I will get good results. They are the things that I can rely on. Yes, I have dreams but they are just that, dreams.
On a lighter note, dad taught me how to change oil in the car last night. He's going to use the vacuum cleaner to clean the air filter carefully later.
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