12/08/2012
It's been a while and I am back
I haven't been blogging for so long that this activity seems to be so foreign to me now. My baby girl is nine months old. I have changed so much as a woman that I don't think I know myself anymore.
I am slowly regaining my formal identity, however, I don't think I will ever be the same. Being a mother is never easy, but I often find times to smile and laugh with my daughter even though the situation is so difficult. For example, one day, she put her hand in a tub of Fatty Cream that I was trying to put on her, I couldn't help but laugh at the situation before cleaning her hand up. Her hand was covered with white Fatty Cream, and maybe she was just curious about the substance that I put on her everyday. She has eczema, and is allergic to certain foods, but she's a very happy baby. We still hang out together during the day, breastfeeding, eating increasingly chunky food around noon time, and taking strolls together under the sun. The weather is improving everyday even though this week we had dreadful rain. I've bought some flowers to add colours to our neglected garden. I haven't really planted anything new in the vegetable garden this year because I know I won't have time to take care of them. I hope that the flowers in the pots will survive my neglect, and hopefully, I will remember to water them now and again. I'm coping better now, cooking more dinners every week. It's still very hard for me to stay awake in the afternoon before dinner time. She doesn't need to sleep so much during the day now. I will have to change my routine again.
Christmas is near. I've been very stressed about it lately, and it's just not worth stressing about, really. I've done all I can for it now, so I will leave it and take a more relaxed approach. I have some issues with my husband's family, and I will have to deal with those issues in my own time. It's hard to be happy when I can't resolve the issues in my mind, and these things have nothing to do with them, it's what I perceive to be wrong. I just can't be the perfect daughter-in-law or sister-in-law. I don't know why I try to be, but that's just how I am, I guess.
I have been trying to bake and make some dessert since my diet is too restricting at the moment. It's not easy to cook without butter, cream, egg, bananas, peanuts and most other Tree Nuts. I will soldier on, but sometimes, I just hope this will end. I just want the days when I could eat everything to come back, but it won't. I will keep going regardless, though. I have been working so hard and come so far. It's nice that the weather is improving. I feel so much better now.
It's also good that my body is healing well, and almost everything is healed and back to normal now. Women do have expectations, and after your gave birth, those expectations are way too high and we expect many things to get back to normal almost immediately. It's not the case with me. I expect to feel different and look different, but not like this. Sometimes, I hate the way I feel because I know I am not supposed to feel so sad. I feel much happier now that most of my health problems are gone, or close to be resolved.
Another good news is that my sister is feeling much better. It has been a difficult year for her as well. 2012 is a year full of up and downs. I look forward to 2013 and what it will bring to my family. I am sure no matter what happens, it will be better than what happened this year.
2/20/2012
The last few weeks of pregnancy
I had Braxon Hicks contractions for the last two nights in a row now. It was pretty bad last night, most of the contractions were painful and lasted longer than the previous night. However, we are pretty prepared for labour and baby now so there's not much to worry about.
We were pretty busy this weekend. I went to Thai International Dinner and we sent away one of our friend to Wellington. It's hard to see our friend go, and this girl is so bubbly. We will have to take a road trip to see her and also see Wellington some time. My sister is also having a busy weekend, going to the Thai dinner with me and a BBQ get together on Saturday, a ball in Auckland on Saturday night, which she didn't attend because she was too tired from the sport/BBQ event on the same day. One of the guys from BBQ was taking photos of her and complimented her short pants! It was good to be complimented by a guy and I am sure she had a nice time there.
I tidied the living room and packed the family papers into the filing cabinet. When I say papers, I meant mostly bank statements lying around in the living room. I also put the business papers on the desk in the shop room. I haven't made the final payment for business visa this month so I won't pack everything away yet. There's also GST for last month to do, and I think I will do it this week when I have time. I better get it done sooner rather than later, because we don't know when the baby will come. I don't think I will be able to do it after the baby is here since I will be super busy.
We've also changed the living around a bit. There will be a play area/rumpus behind the sofa. I moved the sofa closer to the TV so we don't have to squint at the screen. See, instant bigger TV! Genius. I also plan to play my cello or sew behind the sofa, and the Foosball table can be used again now there's some space. I am very happy about this development.
I also told husband that he can claim back his half of the wardrobe in our bedroom, which he did promptly last night. He couldn't find his clothes this morning because all of them have changed address! So funny. I asked him to put my winter coats and winter tops into the other closet in the shop. That closet is now full of clothes and I also put the picnic bag on the top shelf in there.
There's still DVD games and computer parts in the closet in the baby's room. They will have to go somewhere somehow. I planned to put the DVD on the bookshelves in the living room, and I don't know where to store the computer parts. Maybe put them in the garage? Or dump them? I will have to ask him.
The weather is still pretty great in the morning, apparently it will rain the rest of the week! Cripes. We have already done so many loads of washing during the weekend, I don't think I will continue this morning. However, I might put on another load this week some time and may have to use the garage to hang the clothes up if the weather is going to turn to custard.
I plan to take a walk in the mall again today. I also hope that my daily contraction routine will go better tonight. Now I know it's not real labour, I feel much better. But somehow, I wish that I don't have to go through any more of these because they really aren't rewarding like real labour!
We were pretty busy this weekend. I went to Thai International Dinner and we sent away one of our friend to Wellington. It's hard to see our friend go, and this girl is so bubbly. We will have to take a road trip to see her and also see Wellington some time. My sister is also having a busy weekend, going to the Thai dinner with me and a BBQ get together on Saturday, a ball in Auckland on Saturday night, which she didn't attend because she was too tired from the sport/BBQ event on the same day. One of the guys from BBQ was taking photos of her and complimented her short pants! It was good to be complimented by a guy and I am sure she had a nice time there.
I tidied the living room and packed the family papers into the filing cabinet. When I say papers, I meant mostly bank statements lying around in the living room. I also put the business papers on the desk in the shop room. I haven't made the final payment for business visa this month so I won't pack everything away yet. There's also GST for last month to do, and I think I will do it this week when I have time. I better get it done sooner rather than later, because we don't know when the baby will come. I don't think I will be able to do it after the baby is here since I will be super busy.
We've also changed the living around a bit. There will be a play area/rumpus behind the sofa. I moved the sofa closer to the TV so we don't have to squint at the screen. See, instant bigger TV! Genius. I also plan to play my cello or sew behind the sofa, and the Foosball table can be used again now there's some space. I am very happy about this development.
I also told husband that he can claim back his half of the wardrobe in our bedroom, which he did promptly last night. He couldn't find his clothes this morning because all of them have changed address! So funny. I asked him to put my winter coats and winter tops into the other closet in the shop. That closet is now full of clothes and I also put the picnic bag on the top shelf in there.
There's still DVD games and computer parts in the closet in the baby's room. They will have to go somewhere somehow. I planned to put the DVD on the bookshelves in the living room, and I don't know where to store the computer parts. Maybe put them in the garage? Or dump them? I will have to ask him.
The weather is still pretty great in the morning, apparently it will rain the rest of the week! Cripes. We have already done so many loads of washing during the weekend, I don't think I will continue this morning. However, I might put on another load this week some time and may have to use the garage to hang the clothes up if the weather is going to turn to custard.
I plan to take a walk in the mall again today. I also hope that my daily contraction routine will go better tonight. Now I know it's not real labour, I feel much better. But somehow, I wish that I don't have to go through any more of these because they really aren't rewarding like real labour!
10/04/2010
Half marathon
3rd October marks the first time that I ran the SBS half marathon with my dear other half. It was hard going at the end of the second half, and I was walking slowly at that stage. We did well, with a time like 3 hr 48 minutes and 12 seconds and almost no training at all, my hubby said that I am definitely a runner. My intention is to prove to myself that I can do it, and it is an achievement in itself.
My legs hurt at the moment, but that's not all the surprising. Every bit of movement is a struggle, and I wonder why I put myself through the hard yards sometimes. Looking back at my life, I've never done anything physically impossible or amazing. I was never any good at PE, but I like walking around the streets and roads around my house. It is relaxing and a good way to be healthier. It is certainly a cost effective way to exercise, and you can do it at any age with any fitness level. I'd like to think that from now on, I can train to be fitter. I'd also like to continue my exercise regime for the long term because I always seems to slack off after a while.
The weather is going to be nice for the next few days. Vegetables are going into the ground for the summer/autumn harvest now. I am looking forward to a good season and this is also the first time that I can put vegetables into my own back yard garden! Isn't that something to cheer about?
My legs hurt at the moment, but that's not all the surprising. Every bit of movement is a struggle, and I wonder why I put myself through the hard yards sometimes. Looking back at my life, I've never done anything physically impossible or amazing. I was never any good at PE, but I like walking around the streets and roads around my house. It is relaxing and a good way to be healthier. It is certainly a cost effective way to exercise, and you can do it at any age with any fitness level. I'd like to think that from now on, I can train to be fitter. I'd also like to continue my exercise regime for the long term because I always seems to slack off after a while.
The weather is going to be nice for the next few days. Vegetables are going into the ground for the summer/autumn harvest now. I am looking forward to a good season and this is also the first time that I can put vegetables into my own back yard garden! Isn't that something to cheer about?
9/25/2010
Another season altogether
I can hear loud noises coming from the mall today. It's been raining a lot these few weeks, but I enjoy being inside. The news is still filled with disasters: earthquake, dead lambs, dead whales, and I don't know when this will stop. Have we angered the Gods, or have we brought this on ourselves?
Dad's been working on an earthquake early warning system, basing his theory on low frequency waves just before the main event. However, there's no reliable earthquake warning systems in place anywhere in the world just yet. This theory, along with other theories such as "animals acting strangely", are not deemed scientifically enough for the general geological community. My opinion on this is that we shouldn't rely on these signs as the only measure to major earthquake events, but we should take these signs as what they are called: warnings, and act accordingly. Sometimes, being slightly paranoid is okay if that means saving lives. I also think that New Zealand general public has been well educated (like dad said), and there was no casualty from this earthquake.
Christchurch is rebuilding. There's no doubt that it will take some time, but sometimes it is good to change the scene a bit. People worry that their houses are sitting on liquefied land. If you can afford to buy another piece of land and move onto it, I am sure this problem will go away. For most people, though, this is not possible, and being told that your house cannot be rebuilt, or the opposite, can both be stressful. How much money will it take to rebuild the whole city? That's the houses that are uninhabitable. How much money will it take to purchase new land? People can't stay in hotels indefinitely. The situation is dire. I am just watching them on TV, and even I feel helpless watching them.
One thing that will be helpful is to ensure that they can still work somewhere so they can help themselves. The other thing that can be done is create shelters that can accommodate people long term. These people needs houses, a roof over their heads so they don't have to worry about not being able to wash their clothes or have a shower.
The shop is doing well, even though it doesn't look like I am going to sell any shoes today. I guess I had a great day yesterday and can't really wish that everyday will be like the last. Although, it will be pretty cool if I can sell two pairs of shoes everyday, but it will be good if we average one pair each day.
The Chinese lady is (finally) gone, and I hope that she will take her antics with her elsewhere and not come back and haunt me anymore. I am so tired of her! She ordered so many shoes that I've already lost a lot of money by doing that, and she wants me to return the shoes that she doesn't want. I had to write to Susie D and apologize profusely. Does she care that I went through so much trouble? No, I am sure she doesn't, and she had the gull to say that it's between me and Susie? If you want to order shoes, then pay the deposit for them! She didn't even want to pay the deposit in full, and now she wants to return the shoes? There's no logic in that, and I will never do this again. My shop is not the charity shop, nor is it a golden hall. She needs to change her mindset, and this is no ordinary shoe shop. It's a wedding and evening shoe shop that is a boutique high end establishment. She was trying to get discount from one pair of shoes, and I gave her two heel stopper to stop her asking more questions. No loss for me there, and if I can't sell the shoes that she ordered then it's my own loss, she's not going to get her paws on those beautiful shoes and tell me that they are worth only 80% of their original price!
I am so angry about that, felt so tired after talking to her and her fiance. What an idiot! I told her in the end to just buy one pair of wedding shoes, and no discount whatsoever! I have to recover my losses from her, and it starts there.
I am glad that my other customer was easier to deal with, even though her mother asked for a discount, she didn't. I managed to sell the jandals to her without too much trouble. It was the right colour and size. Kudos to me that I "guessed" right.
If I can sell one pair of shoes today then I can go home and say this week has been a success. If I don't, I can still say it was an okay week because I worked very hard on every sale I've made.
The weather is still crap. I haven't put in the spring onions yet, better do it some time today, though. I don't want to waste them!
My garden is still in a bit of a disarray, but that's understandable with this horrible stormy weather. I am going to Auckland tomorrow, then meet up with friends for tea, and watch belly dancing in the evening. Great Sunday I have planned. Tonight, I will run with G and maybe with the husband. I am feeling alright after yesterday, not worried about the shop anymore. It will just come right itself.
It is supposed to be spring, but as far as spring go, it is not my favourite one.
Dad's been working on an earthquake early warning system, basing his theory on low frequency waves just before the main event. However, there's no reliable earthquake warning systems in place anywhere in the world just yet. This theory, along with other theories such as "animals acting strangely", are not deemed scientifically enough for the general geological community. My opinion on this is that we shouldn't rely on these signs as the only measure to major earthquake events, but we should take these signs as what they are called: warnings, and act accordingly. Sometimes, being slightly paranoid is okay if that means saving lives. I also think that New Zealand general public has been well educated (like dad said), and there was no casualty from this earthquake.
Christchurch is rebuilding. There's no doubt that it will take some time, but sometimes it is good to change the scene a bit. People worry that their houses are sitting on liquefied land. If you can afford to buy another piece of land and move onto it, I am sure this problem will go away. For most people, though, this is not possible, and being told that your house cannot be rebuilt, or the opposite, can both be stressful. How much money will it take to rebuild the whole city? That's the houses that are uninhabitable. How much money will it take to purchase new land? People can't stay in hotels indefinitely. The situation is dire. I am just watching them on TV, and even I feel helpless watching them.
One thing that will be helpful is to ensure that they can still work somewhere so they can help themselves. The other thing that can be done is create shelters that can accommodate people long term. These people needs houses, a roof over their heads so they don't have to worry about not being able to wash their clothes or have a shower.
The shop is doing well, even though it doesn't look like I am going to sell any shoes today. I guess I had a great day yesterday and can't really wish that everyday will be like the last. Although, it will be pretty cool if I can sell two pairs of shoes everyday, but it will be good if we average one pair each day.
The Chinese lady is (finally) gone, and I hope that she will take her antics with her elsewhere and not come back and haunt me anymore. I am so tired of her! She ordered so many shoes that I've already lost a lot of money by doing that, and she wants me to return the shoes that she doesn't want. I had to write to Susie D and apologize profusely. Does she care that I went through so much trouble? No, I am sure she doesn't, and she had the gull to say that it's between me and Susie? If you want to order shoes, then pay the deposit for them! She didn't even want to pay the deposit in full, and now she wants to return the shoes? There's no logic in that, and I will never do this again. My shop is not the charity shop, nor is it a golden hall. She needs to change her mindset, and this is no ordinary shoe shop. It's a wedding and evening shoe shop that is a boutique high end establishment. She was trying to get discount from one pair of shoes, and I gave her two heel stopper to stop her asking more questions. No loss for me there, and if I can't sell the shoes that she ordered then it's my own loss, she's not going to get her paws on those beautiful shoes and tell me that they are worth only 80% of their original price!
I am so angry about that, felt so tired after talking to her and her fiance. What an idiot! I told her in the end to just buy one pair of wedding shoes, and no discount whatsoever! I have to recover my losses from her, and it starts there.
I am glad that my other customer was easier to deal with, even though her mother asked for a discount, she didn't. I managed to sell the jandals to her without too much trouble. It was the right colour and size. Kudos to me that I "guessed" right.
If I can sell one pair of shoes today then I can go home and say this week has been a success. If I don't, I can still say it was an okay week because I worked very hard on every sale I've made.
The weather is still crap. I haven't put in the spring onions yet, better do it some time today, though. I don't want to waste them!
My garden is still in a bit of a disarray, but that's understandable with this horrible stormy weather. I am going to Auckland tomorrow, then meet up with friends for tea, and watch belly dancing in the evening. Great Sunday I have planned. Tonight, I will run with G and maybe with the husband. I am feeling alright after yesterday, not worried about the shop anymore. It will just come right itself.
It is supposed to be spring, but as far as spring go, it is not my favourite one.
9/22/2010
When dreams come true
Mum wrote to me last night about making dreams come true. I've had a talk with husband and now it looks that one of my plan has fallen flat. I've planned to go to Fashion Week for months, and when there was some funds before for that, now there is none.
I don't expect anyone to understand this, but I did have a plan. I planned originally to go up as a buyer, but I know I don't have much money. Right now the shop is holding on precariously, I don't think I am going up to Auckland. The main reason is shopping anyway, and we don't need to buy anything at the moment. We can't afford to buy things.
Today has been a good day, though. I did sell a pair of shoes. It was a bit strange to charge one more dollar than the marked price. I think I will have to change the price to $299.99, or have to pay the lady back. I guess I won't give her money back, but I will put the price up? It's funny how I don't put price down in this shop, but it is necessary. I've put the price up for Tiger and Tanza today since Susie mentioned that they are charged $269 in her shop. I am not sure if this is the right move, but the young girl came yesterday to say that these shoes aren't that expensive for this price, is it? No, I replied. I am not selling expensive shoes, I sell affordable good quality shoes.
I don't know why I have to give myself so much pressure. I am going to stop now, but of course, I will long to go to Auckland this weekend. I will want to go next year, this weekend, next year's weekend, and the one after. It is like going skiing. It is like going to Europe. It's like finding the right guy. It's like getting married.
Sometimes, I think I work so hard to make my dreams come true that I have been forced into a corner so I can't be happy when my dreams come true! How sad.
I don't expect anyone to understand this, but I did have a plan. I planned originally to go up as a buyer, but I know I don't have much money. Right now the shop is holding on precariously, I don't think I am going up to Auckland. The main reason is shopping anyway, and we don't need to buy anything at the moment. We can't afford to buy things.
Today has been a good day, though. I did sell a pair of shoes. It was a bit strange to charge one more dollar than the marked price. I think I will have to change the price to $299.99, or have to pay the lady back. I guess I won't give her money back, but I will put the price up? It's funny how I don't put price down in this shop, but it is necessary. I've put the price up for Tiger and Tanza today since Susie mentioned that they are charged $269 in her shop. I am not sure if this is the right move, but the young girl came yesterday to say that these shoes aren't that expensive for this price, is it? No, I replied. I am not selling expensive shoes, I sell affordable good quality shoes.
I don't know why I have to give myself so much pressure. I am going to stop now, but of course, I will long to go to Auckland this weekend. I will want to go next year, this weekend, next year's weekend, and the one after. It is like going skiing. It is like going to Europe. It's like finding the right guy. It's like getting married.
Sometimes, I think I work so hard to make my dreams come true that I have been forced into a corner so I can't be happy when my dreams come true! How sad.
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