A spooky night

I was lying in bed trying to sleep last night. After the weekend down in Taranaki and hanging out on the beach, I was pretty tired. I also felt quite sad about not being able to fit into my dark skirt so before going to bed, I put it on to reassure myself that I can wear it. I have the fear of not being able to fit into my clothes if I get too fat. I hate that feeling.
It was pretty late and quiet when I finally decided not to lose weight at eleven o'clock in the evening, although I believe that I can at least do some exercise before I sleep. Before I fell asleep, I heard the sound of metal lid falling to the ground, and I heard footsteps in our backyard. That was pretty scary. I was frozen stiff on my bed even though it was not cold at all. I grabbed my wooden stick and eventually got myself together. I turned on the light and looked up and down the corridor to check whether anyone is in our house or not. There was no one there. There was nothing there.
I called out to mum and dad, and they were fast asleep. It was natural to feel a bit stupid after all that panicking and fear so I went back to bed, with stick beside me on the bed, I turned off the light and looked at the windows and door in the dark for a short time before falling to sleep.
I still feel pretty sad about being fat, but I guess this is a phase. I can hardly eat my lunch. Steve's morning tea shout was pretty good so I had two muffins, but I know that I will have to lose weight somehow. Why can't I just be skinny like everybody else? Some people aren't even trying to be skinny.
All the roses that Richard sent me had died. They look pretty sad on my desk. I guess I will have to say goodbye to them for now. On the bright side, Richard and I went to get "Loving Memory" from Wairere Nursery out of town. We have a red rose tree now! Yay!
I just hope that I am not that fat anymore.