Storm without wind

After working with my Japanese colleague, I suddenly felt that there's no need to rush through my experiment. I have been running up and down the lab whole day trying to carry out experiments, but that's absolutely unnecessary. I am organising my time better now, completing tasks each day and ticking them off.
The new project is still going through a rought patch. I suspect that there's something that I haven't done, but I am sure that I have followed all the protocols. Perhaps, the reason why it failed is because I am not making it with my beloved anymore! That's highly unlikely to matter, but maybe he had done something different to what my boss had been doing.
One possibility is that I am not using enough material in my experiment. I will have to wait for new materials to come next week. If only my boss is still in the country. He's in Italy at the moment for the conference.
The choking atmosphere of uncertainty is getting me down, but everybody seems to be unaffected. I guess the only person who showed me true feeling is Fish Boy. He wants to do Masters with our group, and is seeking supervisor. I wish he will stay! I can't bear to see him go, but he may have to leave soon. It's entirely out of my hands now. This news is not entirely shocking to us, but I think he intends to pursue two more years of study in this city anyway. I am not saying that I will take advantage of the situation, although my heart keep wanting to. Sometimes, I hate myself for always doing the right thing. I don't know how many opportunities I have let go in the past because I have to do the right thing. In these situations, the right thing may be entirely wrong for my heart.
I can only pray that he will blossom and grow up. Does he know this? I think he knows what he has to do for the future. The good thing is that he is carrying out his plan in the right order: study, graduate, do masters, work or travel overseas. He has his priorities straight and he is responsible. I should let my emotion go and be calm. IF HE is MINE, then He will be mine.
There was no wind this weekend in Whangarei. I hope he didn't sleep with her. I hope she will just be like what Avril Lavigne sang in her song: she will just disappear, I don't want to hear her name anymore. I know this is just wishful thinking, but this is the only way I can keep smiling.