This world has gone mad

It's never been easy being a person who is aware that she is not the skinnest kid in the class. In fact, I have often been the fat kid, or the second fattest kid in the class. I didn't feel so bad about this in the beginning, in fact, I felt nothing. I remember a girl in my class told me: do you know why I don't like you? It's because you are fat. I understood the "I don't like you" part, but I didn't understand the "you are fat" part. Is it because I was braver then?
As I grow older, I become more and more aware about how out of place a fat person can be. There are the girls who giggles together when you walk into the room, and the boys won't talk to you because you are not pretty. You want to relax in the weekend and go shopping, but when you try a pair of pants in the shop, you can't get into it! You have to ask your friend to get you the next size because you have recently gained a bit of weight. The only choice left for you are black clothing because you look hedious in all the other colours. Your closet is full of the dreary colors: brown, gray, black! You can't afford to look like a woman anymore because you have curves.
No more shortbread, no more Scotch fingers, no more ice cream, and no more food for your comfort. Food is your enemy and you are supposed to go to bed hungry. When it's raining, you have to run around the block to get rid of the excess weight around your tummy. When it's sunny, you have to get rid of your double chin! You can't sit and relax and live your life anymore. It's all about what you look like, it's the most important thing in the world.
Yes, this world has gone mad. There's another species of people on the movie screen called actors and actresses. When I have to worry about something else in the world, such as work, what I have to do at home, I have forgotten that the food I ate had gone to my stomach and my thighs. I am guilty of being fat, and I am happy to say that I don't care.
By the way, K, you can have your custard square because why should we lose weight?

Plan for engagement party

Richard and I went to get the engagement gifts from Briscoes and the Warehouse yesterday. We chose a pan with a glass lid and a kettle in Briscoes. They will be quite handy when Richard moves into his own place. We bought the 23 knives set in the Warehouse in Hillcrest. It's very exciting. All knives are shiny.
Mum, Richard and I talked about the engagement party. We've decided to keep it simple, mum will make three dishes: meatball with glutinous rice, showmai, and rice noodle; Richard's mum will bring cold chicken and herb bread, and we will prepare salads and meat. We will purchase meat patties, sausages, kebabs, steaks, and savouries from the supermarket. I think champagne is a good idea, and disposable cutlery will be needed.
After Richard went home, mum talked to me about the jewellery and the dress that I am going to wear for the wedding. I told her that if it is possible, I will find somebody who can make a Chinese wedding dress here. If it is not possible then I will just wear one dress. I haven't decided what to do there.
Mum said when grandma died she left some gold jewellery and pearl necklaces, she has packed all these for grandpa. She divided the rest of the jewellery into six bags and each family took one home. The ones she brought back are two pearl rings, one for Jeanie and one for me for our weddings. She didn't want to give it to her sister because she reckons that they may go to waste for her two sons. She doesn't feel that they are serious about life. There's also a pearl necklace, and mum believes it will be suitable for the engagement party. You can decorate the person as well!
I will have to find a dress this weekend. An-chi and Kelly are going to perform tomorrow at 6:30p.m. in The Meteor, and Yoshi's orchestra is performing in Wel Energy Trust Academy of performing Arts theatre on Sunday. If I have time, I will go to both.

A pair of dirty boots

What a weekend! I spent a long time tramping up and down Richard's family farm, following him and Bevan to track down that elusive goat. I was also wondering about reading The Timetraveller's Wife when I wait for the men on their hunt, just like Henry, they were lost in their world and I was there by myselt, negotiating across the stream, down the slope, up the small hill that didn't seen to end any time soon, and wondering where I could sit for a short while to rest.
The view from the top of the farm was stunning. You could see right out to the sea, the oil rig in the background. No cloud in the sky, a light breeze in the air, and green pasture from me to the coast. It was quiet, apart from the occasional bird and airplane flying overhead. It was time to think about nothing at all, to relax, and do some exercise that I couldn't do everyday.
We went to see Stacey and Natalie on Saturday evening. They were both going out. Natalie and Evert were going to see Ironman, which we encouraged them to do because it was a kick ass movie. Stacey and her friend Diana were going to a party together. Dan's broke his collar bone, otherwise he would have come with Bevan and Richard on the hunt.
We managed to kill twenty four goats this time, and injured about ten more. There are still a lot of stray goats out there, eating the grass and wasting valuable resources. One good thing was that we found a young kid and took it home with us on the four wheeler. Hopefully, Stacey will be able to find someone to care for her. Richard wanted to give it to me as a pet, but I don't think I can take care of it.
My boots ended up extrememly dirty after this weekend of chasing goats and climbing up and down the farmland. It was pleasant weather, a bit tiring, but mainly fun.
Still hasn't done engagement present shopping at all. I should try to find something that we will need in the future in Stevens and inform the future mother-in-law.

What a busy day and quiz night

I had such a busy day today, trying to do three experiments a day was not funny, and just managed to wrap everything up at 5:40p.m. Kelly and I went to put down woodchips and flattened cardboard boxes for the garden path around lunchtime as well. That was a good workout, taking wheelbarrow down the lane and tipping woodchips out on the path. The weather was generous to us and didn't start to rain. Now the fun begins with planting in winter or keeping weeds at bay if you don't want to plant anything.
Fuzzy sent me a new job alert from Alfa Laval, but I don't think I can really apply for this job. Yes, the pay is much much better ($500000 upwards), and I will pick up the engineering part of my university study again. I don't want to mess the CV up, but I have a feeling there will be no reply. Feeling anxious about my job now, and there aren't a lot of opportunities around. This will be a hard year ahead. There's this sinking feeling that I can't get out of.
I just feel depressed. Is it the weather? Is it how life is going? Quiz night was fun, especially the pictorial questions. Food was a bit dubious, but felt really full afterwards.

I am engaged! I am 26!

I am engaged! K set up a treasure hunt, and he gave me a rose for the clue that I found, and eventually, he gave me a Celtic diary with the engagement ring taped at the back. The Hamilton Gardens is beautiful, with trees full of autumn leaves. We went to the place where we met, where we talked, where I worked, and had a great time. However, the ring was loose so we sent it to be refitted in Gemtime. Although I want to tell everybody that I am engaged, I will have to wait until the ring comes back. K's mum is thrilled, and his nanna called in the evening to congratulate me. Mum was a bit disappointed that I didn't bring the ring home, well, I am disappointed that I can't wear it now, too.
The three day weekend went smoothly. K made me a sponge cake, and I bought the cream and fruit for icing. We sang Happy Birthday to you in Chinese. I managed to teach K how to sing the song in Chinese with a song sheet. It was a fun day.
We watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy and ate a lot of popcorn yesterday to celebrate the birthday. I had fried chicken and chips for lunch today. I don't feel that different when I am 26, but certainly content and happy.